12/11/2022 0 Comments X man origins wolverine crack![]() ![]() ![]() The bros can either join him or rot in prison forever.īecause the movie's only ten minutes in, they join up, and we next see them on a plane with what comics fans will recognize as various members of Weapon X, who include a Green Lantern, a founding member of the Black Eyed Peas, and a Hobbit. Stryker, who will later be the villain of X-2, but for now is basically Evil Charles Xavier, assembling a crack team of mutants to enforce Canadian supremacy, or something. Finally, their wacky hijinks land them in front of a firing squad and then in prison, because, again, healing factors. Everyone knows that the main point of Wolverine flashbacks is to work in as many other Marvel cameos as possible.īut no, all we get is Victor being disproportionately bloodthirsty and James halfheartedly holding him back. When you have a healing factor, you can get away with goofy stuff like that.Īlso, the World War II sequence shows neither hide nor hair of either Captain America or the Howling Commandos, which is a good sign that this Wolverine movie is bullshit. "Don't look back." They keep on running, all the way through a montage that takes them through the Civil War, World War I, and World War II, during which we establish that James grows up to have luxuriant hair, and that both brothers are totally fine getting shot in the chest, and also that Victor runs like a big cat, despite the fact that it makes no anatomical sense for him to do so and probably slows him down significantly. ![]() "Keep on running," tiny Victor tells tiny James. Meanwhile, a mob has assembled in record time and is now searching the woods in response to what the 19 th Century forensic investigators of the Canadian frontier have immediately identified as the work of a small child with retractable claws. Nah, Victor tackles him, and they promise to be BFF murderbuddies forever and always. Someday, he'll be sitting in a support group of former child actors, and he'll mention that he was in this movie, and everyone will scoot away a few inches. Mom rejects James, because that's what the progression of the plot requires, and little James flees into the night, probably to a life of drugs and late-night VH1 retrospectives. Then, he fillets Victor's dad, who it turns out is also James's dad. The stress of this triggers baby James's mutation, and let me tell you, there is no better moment to establish the tone of this movie than a six-year-old in Wolverine's traditional berserker-rage pose, arms outstretched, claws out, yelling "NOOOOOOOOOO!" at the sky. The movie opens in the wild Canadas, where sickly kid James and his buddy Victor Creed witness Victor's father murder the man James assumed to be his own dad. ![]()
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